


Not Right

by queer_khaleesi



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types
Genre: Demisexual Katniss, Demisexuality, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-30
Updated: 2014-10-30
Packaged: 2018-02-23 05:08:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2535293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queer_khaleesi/pseuds/queer_khaleesi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Katniss hasn't known Peeta long, but she still as a stronger emotional connection to him than anyone she knows. But there's still something not right about their relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Right

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for Mockingjay.

Sometimes, it was still hard to get up in the morning. Everything reminded Katniss of Prim, but she still had to keep fighting. She had to be strong for Peeta; he had been through much more than her, and he needed her now more than ever.

She found Peeta in the living room, staring at a single cup of tea and rubbing his hands together. He was very handsome, Katniss had to admit. She'd always felt some sort of closeness to him. He'd been there for her for years, in a way that not even Gale could match. She was thankful for him, and she did love him. But it didn't always feel right.

She was forced to love him at first. Forced to keep them both alive. She was grateful they'd both survived, but she'd wished there had been some other way. Sometimes it wasn't so bad, though. If it weren't for that, she never would have fallen in love with him. But the biggest thing was, the love was an accident. Even after she'd fallen in love with him, she still hadn't felt any sort of semblance of attraction towards him. It was incredible really.

But then once she did. Once she finally felt the attraction. Once she'd finally looked at Peeta and thought more than just:  _I will protect him and care for him and keep him safe._ No, once she felt the attraction, she'd looked at him and thought:  _I want to be near him. I want to touch him. I want to make him mine._

That was during the final Hunger Games. It was a horrible, distracting thought. How could she think of that when so much was going on around her? She was distracted, but she'd fought it. And there it was again. The longing. He still barely remembered her.

She moved silently to the kitchen, but accidentally banged into the wall. She was still watching Peeta. He startled and stared at her.

"Katniss?" he said softly. His eyes were numb with concern. She smiled a little bit.

"Sorry," she muttered, looking down. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"I'm not scared of you anymore."

"I know, I know. I didn't mean..." She trailed off. Talking about anything related to what the Capitol had done to him was painful for the both of them; no need to unnecessarily bring it up. "Anyway," she said, "how are you? You don't look too well...."

"I've been better," he said, shrugging. He held up his cup and moved in the direction of Katniss. "Tea?"

"No, thank you. I'm good." She moved slowly from where she was to the chair opposite Peeta. He flinched slightly as she settled in. She felt the butterflies in her stomach, and she mentally told her stomach to calm the hell down.

"How are  _you_ , Katniss?" he asked.

Her lips parted in hesitation before she said: "I miss you." She immediately regretted those words, and turned away.

"I can tell," he said. He shifted in his seat. "I think I can learn..." He stopped, clearly unsure of himself, but Katniss knew what he meant.

"Hey," she said. He looked up to her, and she smiled. "I learned to love you. I learned to be...attracted to you." This was the first time she'd spoken the truth of those words. No one ever knew that Peeta was the only one she'd ever been attracted to, the only one she'd ever wanted physically, in her entire life. But now he knew, and she knew he needed that. "If I can learn, so can you."

"I don't want to let you down."

"No," Katniss said, slightly angry. "Don't you ever say that, Peeta Mellark. Don't you ever say that you'll let me down. You never have, and you never will." She stood up. Peeta did as well.

"How can you be so sure?" he asked.

She didn't know how to respond. How  _could_ she be so sure? After everything the Capitol had done to him, how much of the real him was left? How could she guarantee that part of him that had loved her was still there? "I just am," she said.

And with those words, Peeta took her by the shoulders and pulled her lips to his.

Katniss wouldn't have let him do that two years ago. She wouldn't have let  _anyone_ do that. But with Peeta, it was right. With Peeta, she felt her heart lift and her body buzz, and she knew that neither of them were broken. They were shifted, a skewed tangent on the endless circle of so-called normativity. But they could fight it together. The way it was meant to be.


End file.
